i know that your still with me.

my heart is broken. i miss my sister every second of every day. people keep telling me that time will heal, that it will somehow make it easier to through each day, but i have to be honest, i feel broken. the forever kind of broken.

i'm not sure i can or will ever get over the loss of my baby sister, Lori. i don't want to get over it. i don't ever want to stop missing her or stop thinking about her. i suppose that doesn't sound very healthy, but i can't help it. what i do know is that while feeling like this, i feel her still with me.

i'm so confused. confused about why. why something like this had to happen to her. to me. confused about god and heaven. confused about how i am supposed to get out of bed each day, take a shower, go to work. or eat or sleep or watch a movie. everything seems like such a difficult task. i feel guilt. why do i get to have all those things.

before i depress you into tears, i will sound off.

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LORI ANN CREAN
June 10, 1987 - November 1, 2008

i love you...